The mathematics of the heart are a complex and emotional equation. With our adoption journey, the past month has proven to be a heart-wrenching journey with many unexpected twists in the road. Last October, the precious photos of a six-year old boy in Yangzhou, China captured Amber and my hearts. As we continued this ever-changing journey, I began to get excited at the visions of playing Hot Wheels cars on the kitchen floor, pushing him on a swing in our side yard, and taking a trip to see Mickey Mouse at the Magic Kingdom with this little guy. Sawyer and Quaid were both excited to have a NEW younger brother to play with and to share a room with. I posted a picture on my classroom bulletin board, and Amber and I would quietly show this beautiful orphan boy, given the name of "Terry", to our family and close friends from pictures saved to our cell phones.. The plan was set. We moved forward on completing our home study, taking online classes, and filling out the endless paperwork to adopt "Terry". We even unofficially gave "Terry" the name of "Wills", founded on the notion that he would be part of God's Will for our family. Just a month ago, as was the dangerous but customary habit of Amber, she was scrolling through the profiles of other children that were connected to the adoption agency we were working with, Across the World Adoptions. One night, in early February, Amber came upon a boy, with the given file name of "Liam". Unlike the many, moving pictures and profiles that Amber had shared with me, "Liam" really grabbed my heart on that night. "Liam", from Taiyuan City in the Chinese province of Shanxi, is this charismatic, stage-loving, energetic eleven-year old boy. Pictures, videos from a church camp "Liam" attended, and the overwhelming testimonials from the counselors at the Bring Me Hope camp he attended, the image and the character of this young boy just grabbed our hearts. "Liam" also was diagnosed with a form of hemophilia. Hemophilia is a blood disorder that affects how a person's blood clots when cut. In "Liam's" case, if he was cut, he would bleed longer. Even more concerning would be any bruises or internal bleeding that went undetected. Hemophilia is treatable, but in China, most orphans go UNTREATED and do not live past the age of twenty-four. With this knowledge, Amber and I felt determined to, at the very lease, advocate for this precious young man to find a home in America. And in God's perfect timing, the VERY NEXT DAY, the China Program Director of ATWA, informed us that "Liam's" file would be release at midnight. In a very urgent phone call, and after just casually mentioning to Amber that "Liam" had nudged my heart, we decided to put in a letter of intent, with the hopes, at the very least, of securing Liam more time. By the end of the day, after frantic paperwork, stressful phone conversations, and prayer, "Liam" was now becoming destined to become McCulloch child #6. The crazed look we got when people saw we had FOUR children and then even more bewildered looks when we announced our intentions to adopt JUST ONE would be even more perplexed at the thought of adding TWO orphans from China to our family. Our home study process was moving forward wonderfully, and we were just attending our final training session when OUR plan to adopt both "Terry" and "Liam" came to another unexpected turn in the journey. Concerns were brought over adopting two boys, separated by hundreds of miles in China, one being diagnosed with hemophilia, for a first-time adopting set of parents. Full faith was in our ability to parent, but both the financial stress and the transition for our family in bringing TWO, Chinese-speaking boys that had never been part of a family were practical and real concerns. Our hearts were torn. Our journey with Wills ("Terry") began over five months ago, but "Liam" had equally captured our hearts in a short amount of time. After presenting a strong argument that we were willing to tackle this "Mount Everest of Financial and Family Stress", Amber was the first to sense that our first journey would be to rescue only ONE of the TWO boys. Imagining the hope-filled and positive impact of being a part our wacky family, how does one determine WHICH boy to bring home? We loved both boys. In the end, our greatest peace came from deciding that our first trip to China would be to bring home "Liam". His hemophilia and knowing that he had prayed and waited for a family to bring him into their home for nearly twelve years were the largest factors in this supremely difficult decision. Knowing that it was wisest to bring just one boy home came with many, many tears these past two weeks. We have received Pre-Approval for Liam, and our finalized and approved home-study will be completed in the coming week. Our journey to bring Liam home is becoming MORE real. We have informed both ATWA and our local home study agency that we fully plan to pursue Wills ("Terry") if another family has not fallen in love with him and taking him into their hearts and home. We want to honor the wisdom of our home study agency's director and allow our family to make the big transition of four children to five. Then, with time to adjust, my bags will be packed again for China to bring Wills, God-willing, home. God-willing, with His wisdom and guidance, has become one of the largest lessons in this story. At first, I had assumed that our family of four children was perfect. God had a different plan. Then I assumed that just one, healthy six-year old boy was the plan. God had a different plan. I boldly jumped to bring home two boys. God, of course, had a different plan. Perhaps the largest part of that plan has been for Amber and I to truly trust Him despite the challenges we perceive. We plan to name "Liam", Jonas. Jonas is similar to the name Jonah. And I chuckle to think that the Jonah of the Old-Testament also had HIS mind made up of what God really wanted him to do. He didn't board that boat to Nineveh, but God, a storm, and a BIG FISH prevailed, showing Jonah that God has the ultimate control of our lives. That's a hard truth for me, a modern-day "Jonah" to embrace. Perhaps that was part of the journey that God intended for us. From four to five children, from five to six children, and from six back to five (for the time being), the mathematics of our hearts fully embrace our "Jonas". Jonas was more than likely meant to be part our family from the very start, but God had to LEAD us to him. Jonas means "Gift from God." We eagerly await this "gift from God" as an ADDITION to our family and home.
7 Comments
Suzanne
2/27/2016 02:42:33 pm
best to all mccullochs:)
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Danielle
2/27/2016 03:42:04 pm
I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I am for Jonas and all of you. God has really brought you guys through many things throughout this journey and will undoubtedly bring you through many more. I will be praying all the while and looking forward to meeting whomever God has decided to bring into your family and I am confident that it will be in His perfect timing.
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Cheryl
2/27/2016 04:49:47 pm
Such a lovely story, my husband and I adopted two children from Korea back in 1999 and 2002, our journey was not as difficult as yours, as we adopted separately and had no other children. God Bless you and your family - Gods will is not always ours, you are blessed to have heard in your hearts, prayers for you and your family with hopes that you will mathamatically be 5, then 6. Blessing~
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Karla Beedon
2/27/2016 07:20:10 pm
No doubt God has things all planned out for your family. God's plan is perfect, thankfully for us and now for your wonderful family. We are all so happy for you guys💕💕💕💕💕
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Bill
2/28/2016 02:55:39 am
What an uplifting thing to wake up to on a Sunday Morning. I am so proud to call you and Amber friends. I can not wait for another McCulloch child (or two) to be around Tech week! I look forward to reading more as time gets closer to your journey. Love and Peace from the Shreeve family.
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Renee
2/29/2016 04:51:27 pm
God continues to work through you guys and like many others we are continuing to pray and be amazed as your story unfolds. Love to you, dear friends. We cannot wait to meet you, Jonas.
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Sandy
3/1/2016 02:17:48 am
I love you all,,this nana waits patiently for Jonas,,,then,Wills, if it's to be.Thank you Lord for bringing these lives into ours.
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