This morning, like many mornings, I woke up focused entirely on a great deal of the negativity, worry, and anger. Both Amber and I have commented that it is in the early morning hours where our thoughts tend to invade and corrupt the "peace that passes understanding." Even before my alarm can announce the beggining of another day, I've found myself awake and questioning how God allows so much pain and trials and sadness within our world. It is the kind of thinking that starts to put cracks in the most solid foundations of my faith. A few weeks ago, a young and well-loved girl entered an intersection was killed when another vehicle collided with her car. She was soon to graduate from a local Christian school. Everyday, as I drive to Marine City High School with Logan and Scout, we cross that intersection, and everytime I reflect on the pain and loss that this family, that I assume love and trust God, are feeling. Even though I didn't personally know this young lady, I have felt an incredibly devastated at her unexpected death. Over the past seventeen years, I've had students who have dealt with death and all forms of pain. Some come from foster homes, dealing with feelings of insecurity. Other students struggle with habits of smoking, drinking, and drugs that have been passed down from their mom and dad's addictions. The hardest for me are those that come from verbally abusive homes, physically abusive homes, or homes where all of the "adult" responsibility has been unfairly dumped on them. In my time teaching at my high school, I have grieved over the deaths of students in car accidents and suicides. I have watched the grief of students dealing with chronic illnesses and the death of parents and grandparents, siblings and friends. In response to the overwhelming pain and sadness around me and to the pain I hear about in the news, my response has been one of two actions. Like this morning, I question the Creator. "How can you allow such pain, God?" Besides questioning God's goodness, I also do the easy thing. I RUN away from the pain around me as quickly as I can. Sure, I may offer a person a quick "I'm sorry" or offer up a a 30 second prayer, but being near pain is depressing, is too involved, is too costly. I've really started to wonder if I have ever had that HEROIC and EPIC FAITH to be kind of person to unflinchingly actively engage the pain I witness each day. There is something scary about truly LIVING out MY FAITH, getting in closer proximity to the suffering in the world around me. Besides, I have enough of my own pain. What is the point in having to share the burdens of others? In my Christian perspective, I think I "know" what I should do, but how fully engaged am I in doing more than just uttering empty words? I have come to realize MORE and MORE that I can point a finger to God asking Him, "How could YOU let this happen? What are YOU going to do about ALL of this PAIN?" I even ask Him, "How could you allow these things to happen to such GOOD people?" But in the end, the dilemma with this pain, the dilemma in the problems and trails that people are facing in the world around me, ultimately is MY dilemma, not God's. I am realizing more and the more that despite the over-bearing presence of pain in life I can play a part in ending the overabundance of hurt by bringing comfort in the midst of someone else's dilemmas. James 2: 15-17 counterattacks those feelings of self-pity and gloom I experience on those mornings where I consider the gloomy existence of pain, need, and suffering in our world. "Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." I can wake up, consider the pain and the needs of the world, and do nothing because of financial concerns or availability of time concerns, or what I may have to give up or sacrifice, and I am now holding onto an empty shallow faith. Trust me. It is EASY to just allow that shallow, non-acting faith to exist. And this brings me to the ULTIMATE WHY of adopting from China. As much as I may wake up and wonder HOW this is going to all come together, as much as I often let the practicality whisper its so-called wisdom in my ears, the dilemma in the dilemma of orphans comes down to my willingness to do more than talk a good game of Christianity. The dilemma in recognizing and being moved and called to address a need in our world is that it demands action. It demands potential sacrifice. And it demands that I must TRULY trust God to lead. It cannot be enough that I simply say, "Oh, its too bad that those young boys don't have a home and a family to belong to." That is SUPREMELY easy. What am I willing to actually do to help defeat the pain, by LIVING out my faith, in this world? I sometimes sense that family and friends don't quite get why Amber and I, with four children of our own, would go through the challenging journey of international adoption, one that has brought its own share of stress and tears and heartache. Why add more to what seems perfect. For me, it is because I find my heart moved to say it is NOT ENOUGH to just recognize the hurt in our world. That is the dilemma of the many dilemmas in our hurting world. It is not enough to keep our distance and do nothing about the pain around us. May I not just lie in bed, angry at God because of the pain around me. May I instead Do SOMETHING and demonstrate the LOVE of God through my actions.
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"Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the EAST and gather you from the west" Archives
March 2017
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