Dear Amber,
This morning we sit in Guangzhou, China in our hotel room with a twelve year old Chinese boy. In a little over 48 hours, we will have our new family of seven finally united. A year ago I remember wondering what the road ahead would look like. Figuring out finances, having a stranger, who is now our dear friend Kenisha, observe our home and family, endless paperwork, endless stress, and understanding the needed humility of depending on so many family and friends were all moments in this journey. To say that I didn't always handle the stress of the unknown well might be the "Great Understatement of 2016." I often scratched my head in wonderment not always understanding this journey. With every new request to priority mail a document to our courier in Chicago or new adoption grant you asked me to fill out, I saw only more work and stress and a dwindling amount of time for me to relax. You saw another step in moving forward to bring Jonas home. We argued, and I fear sometimes that our children may only see sacrifice and giving as only having stress, conflict, and fear attached. But you and I now know better. While there have been sacrifices (Heaven forbid that we had to take lesser vacations and eat out less) and the anxiety has "seemed" to feel like it has crushed us sometime. We, mainly being ME, now knows so much better of the real elements and reasons for this journey. Thank you Amber. Thank you. If you had not stopped to hear God's voice over my protests and concerns and complaints, so much of the growth and perspective I needed would have been lost. You rescued more than an orphan from Taiyuan City, China. God used YOU to get me to do more than talk my faith, to not just "LISTEN to the word" , but to "do what it says". I have felt passionate to TALK about what a life devoted to God looks like but not always actually LIVE it. When there is no glory to be found in government paperwork or no applause for helping your new son with a nosebleed in the middle of a subway in China, your faith and life are no longer about YOU they are about God and others. I needed that, Amber. Even being on another continent where hardly anyone else can speak your language and their food and customs are a bit...umm..."unfamiliar," God has used some tense and scary moments to remind me that the WORLD is my family and to break my heart for not just the orphans of the world but for the people of China. That may not have happened without your willingness to take a leap of faith. This year, and particularly these past two weeks have made me just have to trust God when we had little to no control. I think of boarding that crowded train in Beijing where we were the only Americans, not knowing WHAT the announcer was saying, and sitting in the wrong seats because we just didn't know, we had to simply board that train and just hope and trust. In seeing the often cramped and meager living conditions of many of the Chinese people, I was reminded of the plentiful that have often called "not enough." We are blessed. I am blessed. And on the crowded street corners, where street vendors grilled seasoned chicken to sell and feed others in order to feed themselves, I saw happiness and togetherness and fellowship. This was but one of many moments that have impacted me while here. These and so many moments we have gone through together. And I know, I know. I haven't always had the best attitude on this journey, but when the heart and soul need some remodeling, the process isn't always easy. I am glad that despite the various and many tough moments that God saw us through this, like so many moments in our lives, TOGETHER. I may sit silent during occasional breakfasts trying to get my mind to adjust to time changes and now having seven mouths to feed, but I know in my heart that this was the journey God meant for us to go on. To my soulmate and best friend, you rescued more than an orphan. You rescued my heart. I love you. -Jay A year ago I wrote this letter to my kids. http://roomatourtable.weebly.com/blog/letters-part-1
4 Comments
Sharon S Choate
11/15/2016 06:49:32 pm
Moving, Jay. Love it.
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Renae
11/16/2016 03:17:49 am
Loved waking up to another devotional!! I will look
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Aunt Jill
11/16/2016 06:28:08 am
Sometimes we need reminders to straighten up. This honest beautifully put post helped me to do do just that...truly a lesson in Fairh, thank you Jay & Amber.
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Aunt Jamie
11/16/2016 10:39:15 pm
Thank you Jay! I loved every word! Your writing reminded me of this scripture. Your family's journey contained so much of this! That's why we have all loved being a part of Jona's story.
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